Bobby Bones is getting closer to becoming a dad, but if you listen to him talk about it, he might still have a few things to figure out.
He shared that he and his wife recently went shopping for a changing table, and right away, he had questions. “Why do we need a changing table?” he said. “We already have a kitchen table. We’ve got a bar, an island, a coffee table, lots of tables.” His wife wasn’t exactly convinced by that logic. She explained that a changing table actually serves a purpose, with shelves for storage, a padded surface, and safety features to keep the baby from rolling off. But Bobby wasn’t ready to give in just yet. “Can’t we just move one of our tables upstairs?” he joked. “The baby doesn’t know the difference. Babies are dumb until they’re smart.”
That comment led Bobby to another realization, he doesn’t really see the point of having a full nursery. “Why can’t we just keep the guest room and put a crib in there?” he said. “We could turn the nursery into a game room with multiple TVs. The baby won’t know the difference.” He admitted his wife probably had a cute nursery growing up, while he definitely didn’t. “I think I was raised like Mowgli,” he said. “By wolves or something.”
The shopping trip also raised more questions for Bobby, like the difference between a bassinet and a crib. “I thought a bassinet was just a junior varsity crib,” he said, before Amy explained that a bassinet is the smaller one that usually sits next to the bed. “Oh,” Bobby replied. “I’m all for the baby sleeping in our room, because I’ll be up in the guest room.” When it comes to putting all the baby furniture together, Bobby already has a plan: he’s not doing it. “Why would I do that?” he said. “If I were young and broke, maybe. But now, I’ll just pay someone to come put it together. That’s what money’s for.” And while he’s learning new baby terms, he’s also getting used to baby traditions, like swaddling. But that one might take a while to win him over. “Swaddling is weird,” he said. “It’s like putting them in baby jail. I want to raise my kid to be free.” Amy reminded him that babies actually like being wrapped up because it makes them feel safe, but Bobby’s not so sure. “We did that on the show once,” he said. “I got swaddled. I liked it for a second, but only because someone else did it.”
At least he’s self-aware. Bobby admitted that his wife is much more prepared for this whole parenting thing than he is, and that he’s learning as he goes, sometimes the hard way. Whether it’s a debate over furniture, confusion about bassinets, or figuring out how much “baby jail” is too much, it’s safe to say Bobby’s first-time dad journey is going to be a funny one.